You know when we decide to take a longer route, but precisely because we know that the extra time will be rewarded by a better and more enjoyable destination to follow? This is exactly what the practice of edging is about.
In terms of sexuality, edging means being on the verge of an orgasm. It is a practice that can be done by all genders, alone or in company, and it is all about delaying orgasm as much as possible during sexual activity, once or several times if the person wants. - But how and why on earth would I want that? You may be wondering, and I'll tell you: It's because building a path of intense arousal, and letting it be as conscious and prolonged as possible, can result in extremely powerful orgasms unlike anything you've ever felt before, turning something that is already good into a true catharsis experience.
Our brain, which I always say is the largest human sexual organ, when it learns an easier and shorter way to achieve something, will always want to go for it. This goes for everything, and orgasm is not left out. If we learn to come in one way, our mind will want to save energy and may end up getting a little lazy, telling us to do everything the same way over and over again. This is why techniques such as edging can be so beneficial, since once in a while it is good to get out of the automatic mode.
The practice was even brought into the scientific field and had its effectiveness proven by a doctor, Dr. James H. Semans, who in 1956 transformed it into a treatment for premature ejaculation.
So how to do it?
First it is necessary to be already familiar with your orgasm, to understand how you reach it and what kind of stimulation is necessary to reach the apex of pleasure (and here we have another bonus, because the will to practice can bring you exactly to this place of investigating yourself more thoroughly and understanding better how your body works). Then it's time to get out of the theory and into the practice, that is, touch yourself! Keep touching yourself and when you are about to have an orgasm, simply stop touching yourself or slow down, or change position and/or type of stimulus, and then start the whole process over again little by little. A tip is to quickly take your hand/toy away from your genital area and go touch another part of your body, such as your thighs, nipples, neck, etc., do a self-massage, carefully observe the clitoris or penis pulsating, and only then return directly to your private parts. As I said above, edging can be done during sex solo or with a partner, so if you are with someone else, communicate the time to stop and how to return (which also helps a lot to work the communication of the couple in bed).
And don't forget to breathe well and deeply, focusing on the breath is an allied practice and is perfect for bringing all the necessary attention to the body. In this process we can access several things about ourselves, understand not only a physical part, but also how we function when we have control of something and then let go completely. As well as understanding in a very sensory way how our limits and our powers are so particular.
If you want, use toys with different types and levels of vibrations, this can make things more interesting. You can also create a mood, with candles, a good neutral lubricant, erotic audios, and whatever else makes you comfortable.
Edging is an expansion technique that can be very rich and fun, but only you can know if it is something you want to add to sexual activities or not. The idea here is to bring more options and show other possibilities, never to impose something as the right thing or as a rule. The main thing will always be to enjoy yourself on this wonderful path that is exploring your own sexuality, with generous doses of consensus and self-love, which can never be too much, right?
Glina, S., Abdo, C. H. N., Waldinger, M. D., Althof, S. E., Mahon, C. M., Salonia, A., & Donatucci, C. (2007, July 10). Classic citation: Premature ejaculation: A new approach by James H. Semans. Wiley Online Library. Retrieved October 31, 2021, from https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2007.00510.x.